Filed under: Las Vegas Living, Chaos as a Family Sport, and How Is It Still Sunday
It’s 110 degrees in Las Vegas, which is to say: the sun is personally offended by our existence and is trying to melt us where we stand. It’s Sunday, which means I, a very tired mother of two, must now double as the CEO of Family Entertainment and Chaos Control.
We started the day like any sane desert-dwelling family: by taking the dog for a walk. Because what’s better than dragging a fluffy animal with zero impulse control down a boiling sidewalk while your children scream at pigeons and your dog tries to murder one in cold blood? One moment she was sniffing a bush; the next she was airborne like a furry heat-seeking missile. I screamed, the bird screamed, the kids screamed. It was a lot. We did not catch the bird, thank God and potential local wildlife statutes.
After that peaceful jaunt, we decided to “just grab a few things” at Costco. A few things turned into $300 in fruit and snacks, because apparently when I panic-buy in extreme heat, I hoard watermelon and freeze-dried mangoes like we’re prepping for the next pandemic. The children ate half the blueberries in the cart before we even hit the checkout line. Such is life.
Still not even lunchtime, we hit the car wash. The kids spotted the time on the dashboard — 11:11 — and immediately began whispering their deepest wishes into the air like tiny Disney princesses. I assume their wishes included a unicorn, a pool made of slime, and for me to allow them unlimited screen time and an endless amount of money for Dutch Bros drinks.
Then came Target. Because obviously, we needed just one more stop. We left with a Rainbow Loom kit that has approximately 700 pieces, most of which are now embedded in our carpet, our couch cushions, and probably the dog’s ear. This was our afternoon “quiet craft.” Which is hilarious because “quiet” is not what happens when two sisters realize they’re fighting over the exact same neon pink rubber band required to make the world’s most interesting friendship bracelets.
It’s now 1:11 p.m., the princesses are a-wishing again, we’re all sun-stupid, the dog is sleeping off her attempted homicide, and I’m wondering if dinner can be finishing one of the five-pound tubs of blueberries we bought at Costco. Or just wine. Possibly both.
Sundays in Vegas: come for the heat, stay for the chaos, and pray the Rainbow Loom doesn’t take your soul.
Comments are closed.