Or: How I Became a Personal Chef for Someone Who Thinks String Cheese Is a Vegetable
Let me just say this upfront: I didn’t set out to be a gourmet lunch artist. I just wanted to pack something edible and safe. But here I am, making gluten-free, dye-free, protein-balanced, low-sugar, ADHD-friendly masterpieces while eating stale tortilla chips over the sink.
Welcome to the Celiac + Neurodivergent Mom Life lunch show.
Exhibit A: The Lunchables of Yesteryear
Remember the OG Lunchables?
Crackers, “cheese,” and vaguely ham-like discs. Iconic.
Totally off-limits now.
In my house, a pre-packaged meal like that is basically a crime scene. Gluten? Everywhere. Artificial colors? A neurological tornado waiting to happen.
And don’t even mention the candy bar.
Exhibit B: My Child’s Current Bento Box
Today’s actual lunch for my daughter:
- Quinoa + roasted sweet potatoes
- Sliced nitrate-free turkey roll-ups
- Organic apple slices brushed with lemon so they “don’t look weird”
- Hummus heart-shaped with a silicone mold
- A gluten-free oat bar with no dairy, soy, or joy
- A motivational Post-It note that says “You are stardust and snacks.”
Meanwhile, I had half a cold coffee and four almonds.
Exhibit C: Her Dietary Restrictions Are My Personality Now
Somehow I became a walking Whole Foods filter.
I can read ingredient labels faster than the cashier can scan them.
I pack snacks for every outing like we’re prepping for a desert survival mission (which, living in Las Vegas, might be accurate).
Every day is a new culinary math equation:
Gluten-free + no artificial colors + ADHD protein goals + “I don’t like that today” = me crying into a rice cake.
Exhibit D: What’s in My Lunch?
Nothing. I forgot. Again.
I found a baby carrot in my purse, though, so that’s something.
Look, I Love Her…
But her lunches are curated.
They’re aesthetic.
They get compliments from teachers.
Meanwhile, I once ate a melted granola bar I found in the glovebox and called it “protein-forward.”
If you’re a Celiac mom trying to navigate the wild world of ADHD-friendly eating, I see you.
You’re not crazy.
You’re not alone.
You’re just…tired. And possibly out of turkey roll-ups.
Let’s start a club: Moms Who Meal Prep But Forget to Eat. We’ll meet every third Tuesday. Bring your own almond butter and existential crisis.
#CeliacMomLife #ADHDKids #GlutenFreeLunchbox #LasVegasMomBlog #FunnyParentingTruths #NeurodivergentNutrition #MomedyCentral
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